wish
it is not about the fact that i want love to be real
it is about the fact that he does.
to grant him his wish....
(what did he say once about holding the life of a suicide king in your hands)
he said love is the forgoing of desire for another.
only by forever giving up my dream of love can i grant his wish (and in doing so, grant mine)
it is not about the fact that he is my life. it is about the fact that i am his. KNOWING THAT is what i must arrange my structure around.
i must not falter, not because i love him, but because he loves me.
I WILL DO THIS
NOT BECAUSE THE RESOLVE TO DO SO RESTS IN MY SOUL
BUT BECAUSE IT RESTS IN YOURS
YOUR RESOLVE IS WHAT I WILL TAKE. IN EXCHANGE I GIVE YOU MY LOVE.
I swear it to myself.
wow what a brave guy go fuck myself, asshole
fucking despicable self valorizing bullshit
disgusting.
I should be fucking ashamed
DESPICABLE