sex
"i just need to not cry and to make them feel good and i can't let them know i'm uncomfortable because i don't want this to stop but something is not right and i can't place it, and sometimes i get really into it so maybe i do like it..."
and now matter how many times i am reassured, it will never be enough because it doesn't get at the main issue:
- WHAT I WANT and
- what makes me very very small and worried
blur together
i can't separate them
isn't this just how most (or just "many"?) women are fucked? (and some men?)
i don't think this is particularly unusual?
but i can't tell
sex is an intimate violence