possesion and monolith lyrics
listening to Possesion by Melanie Martinez on loop a lot
I hit my head real hard I woke up in a jar On top of his blue metal shelf full of trinkets
He'd dust me off each day I'm made of porcelain clay I feed him kisses so I don't break down to pieces
And now he's hungry, I'll feed him candy You're screamin' at me loud, screamin' at me loud Screamin' at me loud
the formatting is a bit messed up
but this is quite familiar (in the past)
but i could not so easily condemn, because I too have a shelf
Baby, I'm your possession, handle me like a weapon
Gaslight me right, tell me, "Keep quiet" I'll go along, di-di-dum Put me up like a prize, I'll be a good housewife You won't see me cry when women come by I'll go along, di-di-dum
This also in a sense feels familiar, but I received the man version, so I wasn't cheated on! And wasn't kept jealously like a prize (except Kim did keep me Quite jealously..). My wife talks about the "rescue and adore" complex of women.
And in a sense i kept others like a prize, but... Like a defective prize... A tool, a role to fill (person to receive devotion, point of human contact, any sort of connection so i wouldn't be so fucking isolated)
The lyrics have a bit of "I'm a fool for doing this" attitude which I don't totally share...
And "gaslight"... well, i don't respect this sort of attitude towards "arguments". Who gets to decide the truth? Are you so arrogant or loveless you won't reconsider yours for love's sake?
Thinking about Monolith also on the same album
I'm yours for the taking A piece of clay Mold me to be what you want today Shape me and I'll try my best to stay I'll stand tall
Give me all your pain and your trauma bond I'll be the shoulder that you cry on Listen to the sound of my aching voice I'll be here
When wolves come to hunt my flesh I wish someone would save me 'Cause God knows that I spend my life Doing all of the saving
This is familiar. But it is more a form of parasitic loneliness. "Saving"?! Get off your high horse. It is JUST desperation, and the need to "worship" in a sense. And the "o, woe is me" self-obsessed, self-described angels (FRAUDS) are always looking for worshippers. (Translation "hurt people need support" 😂)
But "worship" is a form of violence and dehumanization as well.
I am the monument The monolith A wound cracked open For them to pour salt in Exposed nerves A tooth that's pulled A vibrant bouquet Getting plucked till it's nothing
Hand me the weight of your soul again I'm just a mirror that you live in Statue of everything that you love And what you hate Tell me what it is that I owe you now While I run my head to the fucking ground Wish I could get up and run away But who'd be there?
And when I take off my mask I wish someone would see me Sullen bruised and scorned A stitched up doll with their heart beating I've said how I felt before But still no one was listening Guess I'll go missing
A monolith is an object, not also a violencer... This is not me.
Yeah!!!! Getting plucked til it's nothing! That's familiar.
"Tell me what it is that I owe you now" is how it was with Kim. I really fucking tried!
However, I did not wish I could run away. WHERE IS THERE TO RUN TO. I AM FAR TOO DESPERATE.
Of course nobody would be there!! OF COURSE NOBODY WANTS ME. DESPERATELY TRY AND TRY AND TRY TO SATISFY AND HOPE THEY DON'T LEAVE. (everyone will (except my wife)) HOPE HOPE HOPE... DO WHAT I THINK MAKES SOMEONE SATISFIED AND FEEL LOVED...
THE ALTERNATIVE IS I KEEP LOOKING
KEEP LOOKING KEEP LOOKING KEEP LOOKING KEEP LOOKING KEEP LOOKING KEEP LOOKING KEEP LOOKING KEEP LOOKING KEEP LOOKING KEEP LOOKING KEEP LOOKING KEEP LOOKING SOMEONE SOMEONE SOMEOME SOMEONE SOMEONE SOMEONE SOMEONE SOMEONE ANYONE ANYONE ANYONR ANYONE ANYONE ANYONE ANYONE
JUST LOVE ME... BUT I CAN'T EVEN ASK THAT. IF LOVE IS AN EXCHANGE I WOULD DIE. IF LOVE IS GIVEN "FOR" LOVE.......
but yeah "I've said how I felt before. But still no one was listening"...
this sort of stuff happened to me so completely i did not know what i felt. I could no longer say!!! HOW DO YOU SAY WHAT YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND? It's not just that nobody was listening
BUT EVERYONE WHO LISTENED SHOWED ME WHY I WAS WRONG. TOOK GREAT PAINS TO BREAK MY FOOLISH PERSPECTIVE (My mom just said today "The stubborn may have served you well in certain things in the past I’m not sure that you need it now". THIS IS THE VOICE OF A WOMAN WHO IS PERSONALLY OFFENDED BY WILL THAT ISN'T HERS. SHE CRACKED MINE LIKE A NUT WHEN I WAS A CHILD.)
but i am stubborn 🤭
[ "TAKE OFF MY MASK"? THAT'S MY SKIN... THAT'S WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE NOW...]
"BE REASONABLE, CUT OFF THE ROTTEN BIT FROM YOUR HEART" (but that is me... that is the center of me.... IF I DO NOT HAVE THAT, )
I have my wife now, and he has me.
We are together forever.
He will never leave me. I will never leave him.