more bl brainstorming
thinking more about dueling BL guys who kiss 🥰
thinking of what the bottom (obsessive but kinda shy? bold and a little stupid! amateur duelist (does it for the love 😅)) imagines having the guts to say to the top (batshit crazy manipulative, tsundere type, world champion dueling skills).
their duels are ROUGH because they care so much and the top won't let the bottom give less than his best, and the bottom has the danger of inexperience (a newbie is more dangerous with a sword if you're not fighting to kill, because she may strike too viciously on accident). so both of them are very wounded basically all the time and the top hides all his wounds but shows all her insignificant ones?? (as a playful "pity me for this papercut" because she can't bear to be seen with the stab wounds in his abdomen so he hides them and cries about papercuts instead, so the bottom can NEVER tell how badly she hurt the top... The top will never tell......) and they're going to sail to another kingdom on an airship ff12 style soon if the bottom can scrounge together the gold, and this is what the bottom says:
i think I am hurting you
but I know you cannot decide yet if I am or not. (You will never reveal your deepest wounds)
you're too afraid.
i will not ask for mercy you cannot give.
even our future plans, to flee this kingdom for a backwater, isn't it ambiguous whether you want to be rid of me or not? you could wave goodbye as i boarded the ship and remain "safe" here (nowhere is a champion safe, but here at least is stability enough to recuperate)
but if you wanted me to leave without hurting you, if you TRULY FROM THE BOTTOM OF YOUR HEART, wanted that. AND IF I BELIEVED YOU---no. I wouldn't let you go / give up on you / abandon you. Not that I haven't before, but I won't like that.
if nothing else, if there is no love, if there is no joy, i'd live to duel with you, and lose often.
BUT I don't want to live like that. I want to duel for your heart.
I think I am hurting you, and I think you love me.
and I know you do&dont.
I know you're faster than me and stronger and you've trained your entire life at too high a level. I know I will never beat you, from the second we begin you've already decided MY next move. [AND I PLAY ALONG! You don't like to dance so consider this a personal indulgence 😘 is there any other way you would dance with me?]
but if I do not try my hardest I will not win your love or respect.
and if I try my hardest I may kill you.
and I cannot risk this, but I cannot risk not being yours.
and I cannot risk you not being mine.
This is my wish, so I won't beg for mercy.