mercy
what does mercy mean to you?
does it mean forgoing desire? for someone's well-being? (rather than mercy, isn't that love? (but how can you know what is truly best for someone? what kind of ego does that take? (what is best... it depends on what you want doesn't it. but if your wishes did not come true then what is best? pleasure without pain? (or in the bottom of your heart you held out hope for something better... or was it a bone-deep denial of reality... (i would condemn anyone who blames you)) but i think you have a wish still but a wish is as brittle as a candy star...) and when loving means to forgo desire... what if you're wanted to want?
didn't i ask for reassurance when i transmigrated here, that this was for you? this is the fear, and the knowledge, that "help" is temporary. but does that make love impossible? [but isn't life temporary too?]
but then the love between immortals fighting in the censored finale of word of honor, this is a different kind. this is not "help" this is not "for". this is where notions of selfish and selfless dissolve.
if i am still a fairy and apparently willing to crack the last belief i had in selflessness (...this is where/why a lily fa(i/l)ls isn't it)... am i still the fairy goddess... why am i selfish now...
but i have the ego of a god and a rat but the tact of a pitiful pomeranian.
it's ambiguous isn't it. i know my heart is greedy, i've known. i soak up, soak in, absorb a reality. i do not have the imagination to be an author, but i'll play my role in another's story with my entire heart. i was born without magic of my own. [but it is a skill not a condition of birth. the secret in witch hat atelier is that anyone can learn to draw]
) so i think it is one kind of love but not the other)
what is mercy to a god? what is mercy to an animal?
[i know what mercy is to a human. i'm uninterested.]