fear
afraid of being useless/worthless
when "i cannot" still hurts him like hitting a dying dog in the head...
what can i guarantee "i can"?
for it to either be HIS ULTIMATE RESPONSIBILITY or MINE
i have a human perspective on responsibility... that these matters need not be PRECISE because oh someone may or may not get to it...
but when it comes down to it
can i be counted on to keep him alive?