college
cw rape (incl. rape between children) //
i should make a game where i describe my violences
thinking about my subjugation and pursuit of d. in college.
could i shake her off when she hurt me? no.
could i leave when i hated her? no.
but, there is a kind of violence still i inflicted on her.
i've had many ideas about how things are Supposed to go.
i was not shy about inflicting them on her.
i've been proud.
but i still remember the look on her face when we fucked and i was a prop in her fantasy when i came.
IS IT MY FAULT I CAN'T SAY WHAT I WANT? OR WHAT I DON'T?
is it rape or just what sex is to people, i can't tell.
(IF I TELL, THEN I WILL THINK SO LITTLE OF PEOPLE I WOULD DO AS PHOS)
and you know what, i'm still pissed about k. begging to come over when i refused to take her back after the tenth? time she broke up with me
oh but breaking up over text is rude 🤣
and i asked my parents for advice i think, they sided with her!
so she raped me in the basement on that awful couch (the old one was worse but it had personality at least!), thinking she could win me back.
or was it really rape?
but you see she was desperate and i had power here, the power to take her back or not, so you see i took advantage of her!
in fact maybe i did rape her too there! who can say.
I LOVED HER (spits)
i exposed to her every side of my heart i knew how to at that age (15-17).
anyway i would have never been able to understand any of this as rape if not for my wife saying so gingerly carefully over the course of months.
still think such a description is nearly useless though, i think most sex is rape. after all, who REALLY cares about their sexual partner?
@ the reader:
i want you to think about how much you care about the people you fuck
not "if you care" but "how much you care"
HOW FAR (do you care)? WHAT ARE YOUR LIMITS?
could you treat well someone who wants to please you? how sure are you?
i think sex is violence
im the luckiest schmuck on earth to be married to my wife. I NEED TO CHERISH HIM.